Jack

Most of his grandkids called him ‘papa Jack’, but to us and to Harvey he was ‘Great Grandpa Fisher’ (I’m shortening his name to GGF for this post…with how many times I type it, my fingers would get too tired!).

Harvey was named after GGF. Not only does it sound great, but we did this with intention. GGF was crazy smart, successful, stuck in his ways, and always right! One of my favorite things about GGF was how he became a softy as a great grandpa. Harvey really only knew him for a short time and when GGF was sick with cancer. I don’t know how or even quite understand it, but they had a really unique bond. It sounds crazy, but their bond actually became strong and became very real after he died. Countless times, Harvey has told me stories about how he just saw GGF, or how GGF gives him hugs, or he tells me about how GGF looks in heaven. Countless times, Harvey has asked me if he could just go to heaven to see GGF for a minute. Each time, my heart simultaneously breaks and explodes with joy. I know that my boy will get to see him some day. I truly think that after my son jumps into God’s arms, that he’ll jump into GGF’s. They’ll finally embrace and it’ll be worth the wait.

Years ago, meme (Harvey’s grandma and GGF’s daughter) bought him this little wooden sign for his room that says ‘I love you to the moon and back’. This is meme’s saying and she just couldn’t pass up this gift we saw together in this cute little boutique. It has a switch on the side for a light that you can turn on to make the stars glow. Again, you may call me crazy, but countless times GGF has turned on these lights in the middle of the night. I know it’s his way of showing Harvey that he is there for him. I also think it’s his way of showing us, especially my husband, that he’s looking down on our family.

Last week, it was my idea to send this little wooden sign to meme’s house. I thought Harvey had ‘grown out of it’ for his room and that it would be great to put it in the kids room at meme’s. This piece is also so very special to meme, that I really wanted her to have it. When meme asked Harvey if she could put it up in the room, Harvey completely freaked out. He was so angry that we took the sign from the house and he was especially angry at me for trying to give it away. So, the sign came home.

The sign had been sitting on our banister for days, and for whatever reason, last night Harvey and I put new batteries in it. We didn’t even put it in his room, we just left it on the kitchen counter.

At bedtime, and out of nowhere, Harvey got super emotional. He started crying, then sobbing, and then wailing that he wanted to hug GGF. He was literally reaching out, begging GGF to come down from heaven ‘right now!’. I had never seen my boy in this type of agony, just longing for anything from GGF. I tried to calm him with my cuddles, and words, and anything I could think of. Then I remembered the sign. I ran to go get it and put it up in his little cubby, then I turned the light on. After a few minutes, my husband came in to give me a break and to cuddle Harvey until he fell asleep.

Before I went to bed, I went to check on the kids. I saw that Adam had turned off the light on his sign.

Then, this morning, Harvey had to poop at 5:30am. I ran to his room to get him before he woke up his sister. I opened his door, and paused. I looked over to his sign. The light was on.

Thank you, GGF.

Thank you for hugging my boy all night long.