Poem: My Dad

My Dad left when I was a baby.

Gone. Never heard from him.

He started a new family.

I actually have family out there that I don’t know.

My Dad killed someone drunk driving on my 16th birthday.

Was he thinking of me that day? Is that why he was drunk?

Or, was this just a typical day for an alcoholic?

I thought about reaching out to my Dad when I was in college.

On my wedding day.

When I had my babies.

I never wrote that letter to your jail cell.

I think I have a lot of buried hurt and unresolved issues because of you.

I think I deal with depression, anxiety and perfectionism because of you.

I think I dealt anorexia, bulimia and emotional binges because I never felt good enough for you or anyone.

But your leaving was the best thing for me.

Your leaving allowed my Mom to be strong, walk away and move on.

You leaving helped her and me find my real Dad.

My Dad adopted me when I was three.

My Dad never left.